It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize