I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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