And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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