i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
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he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
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I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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