im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize