How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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