It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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