so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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