He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Pooping to opera.
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