Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
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He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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