so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
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It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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