she woke up with a sticky ear
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize