no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize