her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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