giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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