I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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