I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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