dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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