I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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