when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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