how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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