I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think my moral compass just broke
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