your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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