the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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