I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize