Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
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he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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