Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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