Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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