im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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