I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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