Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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