Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize