were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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