I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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