I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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