Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
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I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
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Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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