it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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