everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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