My hand turned me down
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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