Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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