Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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