Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there was a trapeze. enough said
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
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