this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize