bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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