forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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