That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
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He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
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This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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