fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
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my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
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Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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