TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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