Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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