the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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